Nothing is harder for a Mom than to see her child in trouble or headed for trouble. Here are some principles and prayers that came out of the anguish I felt over my own beautiful daughter.
Principles for a praying Mom
1. Keep speaking out loud what you want for her, even if everything seems to be opposite
2. Bring truth to her in love not with force or anger
3. Create rules with natural consequences
4. Provide three affirmations with every one corrective statement
5. Tell her over and over that Jesus is on her side and so are you
Basic prayer for the wayward daughter
Dear Lord, I know you love her more than me, but I’m scared for her. Please give her a sense of your love and who you are. Use the Holy Spirit to convict her with a pierced conscience or even some physical discomfort with sin choices. Place Christian mentors in her path. Keep angels on duty protecting her from lasting harm.
Give her eyes that see, ears that hear, and a humble heart inclined toward you. Let her know the gravity of what you did for us and yearn to serve and worship you as Lord and Savior.
2 Chronicles 20 Prayer
Lord, you are the God in heaven. We stand in your presence and cry out in distress. You will hear and save our daughter. But the enemy has her. We don’t know what to do. We don’t want to live in fear or lose courage. The battle is yours not ours. Go before us.
We ask that you protect her mind from lies. Relight her intellectual curiosity and desire to be honest. Open her eyes to truth about herself and others. Show her how to value herself, our country, and other people in a real way. Help her to see that she’s being taken by wolves in sheep’s clothing to steal the good future you have planned for her.
Psalm 139 Prayer
Dear Lord, she was fearfully and wonderfully made, woven together by you in the depths of the earth. You knew her in my womb. You designed her perfectly down to the last hair on her head. Bring awareness to her heart and mind of how valuable she is to you so she might value herself.
Search my heart and anxious thoughts. Enable me to trust you to care for her and bring her back.
Remind her of your word that separates bone from marrow. Let it sink into her very being, penetrating her mind and soul.
Proverbs 3 Prayer
Oh, God, let her not be wise in her own eyes but fear you and shun evil. Make sin like stones or soured
Oh, God, let her not be wise in her own eyes but fear you and shun evil. Make sin like stones or soured milk in her stomach. Guide her toward understanding, leaning on you, trusting your Word so her path would be straight.
Reveal yourself to her. I know you have a good, Christ-following man for her. God, I beg you, preserve her for him. Make her ready. Don’t let her falter and miss him.
May she trust in you alone. For you mock proud mockers but give grace to humble
Psalm 121 Prayer
Lord, watch over her. Be the shade at her right hand so the sun will not harm her by day nor the moon at night. Lord, keep her from all harm. Watch over her life, her comings and goings now and forever.
Psalm 191 Prayer
Lord, save her. She is yours. She once sought you. The wicked wait to destroy her. Lead her back to your way. To all perfection is a limit, but your commands are boundless.
Bring her from vice to virtue. I pray that you would lead her to humility and a desire to be a woman of character, obedient, selfless, truthful, kind, diligent, morally upright.
Proverbs 31 + Galatians 5:22 Prayer
Lord, help her to grow into a successful, loved, strong, wise woman capable of being the wife of a good man and mother of children that honor her and you.
Train her, call her, shape her to a desire for the fruit of your spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Romans 12 Prayer
Lord, lead her to renew her mind, to reject patterns of this world. I pray so she might once again know your good and perfect will.
Make her hate what is evil and cling to what is good. Send her friends and a husband to be devoted to each other in your love, the kind of sincere love that helps people become better demanding time, money, and personal involvement.
Romans 8 Prayer
Lord, I know you work all together for the good of those who love you. She once loved you. Return her to you. Go to find the lost sheep. Bring her back before the ravages of the world ruin her. Enable her to be more than a conqueror thru Jesus Christ. Nothing can separate her from the love of Christ.
Colossians 4 Prayer
My God, bring her to a place of standing firm in your will. Enable her to mature and be fully assured in your will.
Please, Lord, remove any darkness that came through me to her. Reverse the pattern. I give her back to you, again. I give up. Only you can draw a blood line. Surround her with angels. Invade her heart with the Holy Spirit so she might have a different outcome.
Thank you, God for preserving her, for speaking to and changing her heart. You answered my prayer that she not be ruined for your purposes and ability to enjoy life and have fulfilling relationships.
She has become more than a conqueror because of you. Her mind is transformed. Her body is made whole again.
God, you are good and merciful to her. You got her attention and turned her back from the enemies hands.
Titus 2: 11 – 14 Prayer
God, allow her your grace so she might say no to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live a self-controlled, upright, and godly life.
Oh, God, allow a sense of love and worthiness in her. Let her feel and know she is loved even as she feels the bitter sting of her choices. Let that bring her sorrow and repentance so she returns to you with reverence, delight, and thanksgiving.
Colossians 1: 9 – 14 Prayer
Lord, fill her with knowledge of your will so she may live a life worthy of you and please you in every way bearing good fruit in every good work, growing in knowledge of you being strengthened with all power according to your glorious might, give her endurance and patience. Fill her again with Christ’s joy and ability to give thanks.
Psalm 119: 165-169 Prayer
God, I pray that she will come to love you and obey your laws. Great peace will she have if she loves your law. Hear her cry that will come, then give her understanding according to your word.
You’ve probably never thought about it, but lying to or faking it with someone negates your ability to experience love with them.
Love is the highest purpose of life. From a very young age you will be given opportunities to practice learning how to love. You can’t cheat at the love tests for years and then expect to show up for the big exam and ace it. Love, like math, builds on prior learning. If you failed Algebra, you won’t pass Calculus.
If you’ve lived years using people, pretending to be something you are not, faking feelings, lying to “protect” people, eventually you’ll want real love with someone, and it will elude you.
To give and receive love you must first be willing to risk being honest, truthful with the other person. Being honest is about revealing your true self and feelings as well as sticking to the facts about things.
Honesty is very risky and most people avoid it believing lies are better for all involved.
Why do we lie to people we claim to love?
- If they know the truth about us and how we feel, they might not be able to handle it
- They might not like us if we are honest, and then we’d get hurt
- They might not continue giving us the things we want from them if we tell them how we really feel or the truth about things
Lying to people you love is rooted in the worst kind of pride.
The reasons you lie are based on a belief that you know best and can control a situation and another human being without consequence. But there’s always a consequence to every lie. Lots of little lies pile up to become a pattern of dishonesty. Some big lies blow up and destroy relationships and lives.
If you want to know love, begin practicing honesty with people in your life. It might not go so well at first. The reasons you lie may seem to be verified. However, there’s no getting around the true cost of love, and it rests on being honest and truthful.
Matthew 22: 37 – 40
“Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
God put his essential rules for living into the Ten Commandments. If it’s in the top ten, he’s serious about it. “Thou shalt not commit adultery” means sex with anyone not your spouse is forbidden (Exodus 20:14).
God is clear in his Word from Genesis to Revelations that he created sex for pleasure and procreation between one man and one woman within a marriage. Sex is a beautiful, powerful gift given by God.
“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame (Genesis 2: 24 – 25).”
What is sex?
Many people are confused about what constitutes sex and believe intimate sexual acts are entertainment. Sex means performing or receiving acts that involve the genitals of a man or woman for some form of sexual gratification. If you are receiving someone’s sexual body parts into any part of your body outside of marriage, you are misusing your body and sex as intended by God.
God knows that used improperly or prematurely sex causes a lot of suffering and harm. If you believe that sex is something you can do with whoever, however, or whenever you feel like, you are dishonoring God and yourself.
God created sex for 3 purposes
God created and gave humans sex for three purposes intended to work together:
1. Unite a man and woman in a bond of intimacy called marriage designed to create family with or without children
2. Give a man and woman pleasure
3. Enable the perpetuation of humans.
Sex outside of marriage is a sin against God’s will and law because sex outside of that context is a misuse of God’s purpose and design. Ignoring God’s design for sex will erode your ability to love and integrity.
Honoring the fact that God has created sex for marriage between one man and one woman will not go unnoticed by God. Ignoring his rules will lead to unintended consequences every time. You can pick your actions but not your consequences (Genesis 39: 11 – 18).
God is specific about how and when sex is okay
Deuteronomy 22:13 – 30 and Leviticus 20: 1 – 22 contain information passed from Moses to the Israelites after they’d been taken out of slavery and spent forty years in the desert preparing for the Promised Land. What sounds harsh to our ears today is God making it clear to his people how serious he is about sin, especially sexual sin.
God says the following to expound on his rule that sex is for marriage:
• Sex before marriage diminishes the special relationship he designed for husbands and wives
• Rape (forced sex) is wrong
• Women should be protected and honored
• Men should not leave a wife for frivolous reasons or vice versa
• No one should have sex with the same gender, animals, children, another person’s spouse, or close relatives by blood or marriage
God gives special attention to women in rules about sex
God’s rules emphasize the protection of women. Prior to very recent times women could not make their way in the world without the help and protection of a husband or male family members. In many ways, that’s true today. No man, woman, or child thrives without the help of others. He also makes it clear that women should not take advantage of their protected position by seducing a man or claiming rape falsely.
Your body is not your own
You were uniquely created, “knitted together in the womb,” and known personally by God (Psalm 139).
He cares about the physical and spiritual aspects of every person. Your body is intended to be united with Christ. That is why your body is called a temple. The Holy Spirit lives inside of your body. You do not own your body. It is loaned to you for the purpose of honoring God. If you use your body sexually in ways not intended by God’s design, it is a sin against God and dangerous to your health. (1 Thessalonians 4:1 – 8, 1 Corinthians 7: 3 – 11, 6:13, 19 – 20)
You have the freedom to do many things, but if you chose to do things that God has forbidden, you will have trouble, often much later and in ways you cannot imagine now. Be careful and responsible with your desires (Matthew 5: 27 – 28).
God cares about your pleasure and well-being
God created sex for pleasure in his timing and circumstances. He cares and will satisfy your needs if you wait.
Your attitude toward sex reflects your relationship with and attitude toward God. When you go your own way, it hurts God. His rules are designed to protect you and to cultivate family and civil society.
Decide now what kind of character and faith a person that you will love should have. Most of the time you spend with a spouse is not sexual but focused on day-to-day life and problem-solving in the home. Give yourself time to get to know someone before committing to them. You may initially see only physical appearance or attraction to the idea of that person (Judges 16).
Don’t say, “Everyone does it. God loves me, no matter what.”
Defying God’s commands does not lead to a loss of his love. His commands are there because he loves you. But God does not provide you a pass on rules he created for everyone. If you love God, you will not willfully disobey what he’s said don’t do and explained at great length why it is harmful.
If you rationalize doing what you want with statements like “God loves me no matter what” or “everyone does it,” you love yourself more than you love God, and that is pride. No sin does more damage to individuals, families, and society than pride.
What does natural or “born this way” mean?
Desires for love and acceptance are part of every person’s natural inclination. You may find yourself thinking about sexual matters with a member of the same sex or opposite sex at a young age. It is not wrong or sinful to have thoughts. If you allow your thoughts to become obsessions, they will become actions. Wrong things can happen, and you will find yourself going in directions and practicing activities and attitudes that limit your opportunities (Romans 1: 26 – 27).
Jesus has the last word about sexual immorality
In Revelations 2, Jesus talks about Christians tolerating Jezebel and her promotion of sexual immorality. Jezebel represents the prevailing culture which promotes all forms of sexual immorality and ridicules those who attempt to honor God’s rules about sex.
Jesus says, “I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds” (Revelations 2:23).
Primary Verses Revealing What God Says About Sex
Genesis 2, 34: 27 – 29, 39:9
Leviticus 20: 10 – 21
Deuteronomy 22: 5, 13 – 30, 23:17
Proverbs 2: 16 – 17, 5:3, 18 – 20, 6: 25 – 35, 7: 25 -27
Song of Songs 4
Matthew 5: 27 – 28
Mark 10: 5 – 9
Romans 1: 26 – 27
1 Corinthians 7: 3 – 11, 6:13, 19 – 20
1 Thessalonians 4:1 – 8
Think for a moment about someone you like being around. What makes them interesting? Interesting people have these traits:
- Weave story into their conversation without slandering individuals
- Get outside of their comfort zone to experience new people, places, food, and more
- Question things based on reading and experience like a scientist versus like a parrot
- Enjoy and pursue conversation about a wide breadth of topics that goes beyond the weather and famous people’s dirty laundry
- Talk about people, situations, and the future in a positive light
Practice being interesting. It’s a great asset.